Life is sad. Life is funny (and here I mean black humor/dark comedy). There are people who are insensitive, even flippant and/or cold. People who don't understand or don't care. Some of these people are supposed to be friends. Some of these people are supposed to be family. But there are also people who ARE sensitive. People who care and understand. People who are being wonderful by being patient, supportive, sympathetic, and empathetic. People who are trying their best to comfort and/or cheer. :)


Cyam said…
Hey, Tar. I know and can relate to how you feel. I think this is something only those who have suffered a loss can understand.

When my Lolo died, I also found it difficult to reconcile everyday mundane tasks with the pain and regret. How could I be standing in the corner hailing a jeepney or watching TV or buying groceries when I just lost my beloved grandpa? And yes, like you, I felt it was disturbing and sinister that there was still time for jokes and light moments with the family. At the same time though, I also knew we the bereaved needed those to anchor ourselves.

As the days went by, it was such a rude awakening to come to terms with the fact that the world didn't stop revolving to accommodate my grief. I was crushed by the pain of the loss itself and my many regrets - why didn't I spend more time with Lolo, why didn't I buy him more of the crazy action movies he loved. It is both crushing and comforting that life does continue on; it doesn't stand still or coddle as we have read in many novels and poems.

We all deal with our hurt in different ways, as you said. If purging your toxic emotions works for you, then by all means purge yourself dry. I also like what your friend Natalie said a couple of posts back - you can do your Tita great honor by letting her live through you, your actions, your life. Kerrie also said it well - God's plan rarely makes sense up close, He only makes us understand in hindsight. I hope this trial makes you stronger, more prayerful, and that this brings closer your family together.

I wish I could be with you there, Tarie. I may not have any answers or solutions, but I'd gladly stand under the rain with you.
Tarie said…
CY, it really, really helps knowing that you truly understand how I feel. (Remember how I always go on about wanting to be understood? That people can - and maybe should - disagree with me but I just want to be UNDERSTOOD?) Thank you very much for your care, concern, and comforting words. I wish you were here!
Natalie said…
I understand Tarie.
It's so hard to reconcile suffering and heartache.
Love to you.
Tarie said…
Thank you, Natalie. :) And thank you so much for the love you are sending across the miles!
Cyam said…
Hi, Tarie. I hope you have a good weekend. You're one of the strongest people I know. Love you. =)
Kerrie said…
Still checking in too Tarie, hope you're feeling a little better!
Natalie said…
I'll feel a little better if you post today... I can't be there to check on you or do favors. So, if you post I can breathe a small sigh of relief. It's too soon for *all better*... I just want to know you are okay enough to wave your hand, sigh deeply or moan. Hugs and encouragement Tarie. You are in my prayers.
Tarie said…
CY, it is BORING here without you. Working out with you and then pigging out with you sounds like a lot of fun! :)

Kerrie, thank you so much! I am so touched that you are checking in on me. *heart* By the way, I've been trying to see if you have a blog... ??

Natalie, awww, you are so sweet! Thank you very much for all your care, prayers, and encouragement! I will post again as soon as possible... *hugs*
Kerrie said…
Yes - you're stuck with me now - LOL! :-)
I do have a blog (I think it shows up in my profile now) but I'm pathetic at updating!